My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
