**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
