well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I understand Curling. That high.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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