I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Randomize
