It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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