like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
