i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
