Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
