Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
