lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
