I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
why is half of my head shaved?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
