Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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