I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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