WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
