i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
