Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
