you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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