I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
