I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Im part way to drunk.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
