Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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