So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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