what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
