I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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