Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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