What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
