When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
