I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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