Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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