and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
