Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
jump out the window naked night went bad
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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