perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
