drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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