lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
