I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
