There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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