i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
