I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
