I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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