She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
