Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
