i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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