Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
