yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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