stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
