I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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