Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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