you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
