We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
