she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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