So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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