There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
