update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
