I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Randomize
